Today is the last day of the 30 days of challenges. I kept the best for the end, a subject that concerns everyone which is often the source of many struggles, inner battles and conflicts with others. Most people don’t know how to love themselves. They are busy looking for external solutions to hide their inner conflicts and dissatisfaction.
I was there and I know how it feels to be the enemy of one’s self. My thoughts, emotions, choices and actions were all a proof of my lack of self-love.
I used to wake up with blurred eyes, and confused mind unable to see the light of the day. My mind kept telling me that I was awful, not enough and I believed in it until it impacted my choices. I could not protect myself and love myself. I allowed others to disrespect me, belittle me and make me feel unworthy.
I kept looking for my self-worth through the eyes of others. I was constantly searching for people’s recognition.
This lack of self-love and self-acceptance were keeping me away from taking decisions in line with who I am and what I thrive for. I had to listen again to my true inner voice, the real one that knows what I really want and what makes me happy.
Self-love is not about selfishness or arrogance. It is about the choices you take everyday to make yourself feel happy independently of people’s expectations.
6 EFFECTIVE WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR SELF-LOVE
1.Start taking new decisions
Loving yourself starts the moment you decide to take decisions to improve your life, your habits, your health, your relations; and when taking care of yourself becomes a daily responsibility.
You will have first to give up on your bad habits that effect your health, your negative thoughts that keep dragging you down, and replace them by new ones. Every day, take new decisions to nurture new thoughts, new emotions, and take new actions in order to become the person you deserve to be and not a projection of what people expect from you.
2. Stop focusing on what others may think about you
The best thing in life is to learn how to enjoy it by not focusing on what others think about you. Distinguish between the image you have about yourself and how others perceive you. Don’t let them impact your choices and decisions. Whatever they think about you, it’s their own business. They are wasting their time not yours.
3. Know more about yourself
Knowing more about yourself, your values and goals will give you more confidence and less disruption. It is the best freedom you will ever have. It will make you detached from what others expect from you.
Ask yourself if what you are doing right now is something that motivates you really or creates doubt and conflict within you? do you respect your promises towards others? are you acting according to who you are or pretending to be someone else? do you feel often guilty?
You cannot develop self-love if you are feeling constantly guilty and not respecting your promises. You cannot be joyful if you are unable to act according to who you are indeed.
4. Give up on perfection
Give up on the idea to be perfect or to control everything. Seek continuous improvement and excellence but not perfection as no one is perfect.
Accept the fact that you can make mistakes. If you do, there is nothing wrong about apologizing as it does not take anything from your strengths. It can give you even more self-respect and improve your self-love. Also, accept failures and deceptions; that’s really ok to be deceived especially these days.
5. Be kind to yourself
We tend to give people new chances but rarely to ourselves. Always give yourself a new chance to rise up again, to be happy with what you already have or reset everything from the
Don’t blame yourself for every single thing. Love yourself as life is not a competition but a journey worth living and enjoying. You may not be able to change people or your conditions but you can change your perceptive.
6. Dare to be yourself
Don’t be busy looking like others but be concerned more about creating your own identity. You can lie at people, but you cannot lie at yourself. You can cheat on people, betray their trust, but you cannot hide it to your own self. You can pretend to be someone else, but once the comedy is over, you will have to face yourself.
The more inner conflicts you have to handle, the more you will be struggling, and you may even forget about who you are.
Don’t be just a copy among others. Be yourself. Being true and authentic are the key to a successful life as pretending to be someone else require more efforts and energy.
You don’t have to prove anything to anybody but only to yourself. The real freedom is when you start acting without the need to impress anyone.
I used to adapt to every single event and person. Today, I chose to be MYSELF and let the others adapt to who I am,
Real strength is in letting go things that can hurt you, things that can make you feel stuck and replace them by things that uplift you.
Love yourself and dare to be the person of your own choice.
Thank you for being part of the #30daysofchallenges. I would love to read your comments and have your feedback if my articles had any impact on your life these 30 days? what did you
learn? what decisions will you take to improve your life?